Category Archives: Holiday tradition

2011 in review Who knew blogging could be so much fun?

Evelyn

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104/365 Kimono Girl

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San Francisco cable car no. 57 at the stop at ...
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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,100 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 52 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Christmas with Grace

A John Prine Christmas

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Amazing Grace: Songs for Christmas

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He Is Christmas
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Tomorrow morning I will be on the flight back to Milwaukee via Detroit. In the afternoon I will be seeing my cat and getting a lot of stern looks from her for my absence.  I hope that by next Christmas I will be living in a better environment and be able to hire a trainer to help her open a few cans of cat food by herself when she gets hungry.

But this message is about Christmas in Buffalo, a place my friends always associate with snow and bitter cold. As I sit here typing the sky is gray, the winds are calm and there are buds on the trees. Surely, you were all dreaming of a balmy Christmas.

Some years, Christmas has meant the end of relationships and sorrow. Dinners consisted of stone soup flavored with angry silence. Other years, the holiday was filled the hope and the beginning of a new job. This time around, it was filled with grace. There was my nephew John correcting a problem on on his mother’s  computer by writing three sentences about his love for his 2 1/2 year old daughter Grace. As she saw what he had written on the computer screen, she responded “I love you too, Daddy.” This girl may go from day care to high school.

I can’t begin to tell you how proud I am of John and seeing the husband and father he has become. He was born the year that I graduated from Lafayette High School and his photos are on my Facebook and other pages. I saw John and his wife Jen facing issues together, I hugged them and Grace as they left and felt so glad we were part of the same family.

I enjoyed having my sister and mother fuss over me because that’s just part of what they do. We all fretted over the trials and tribulations of my nephews, cousins and my younger sister.  My future will be filled with more stories of the other people in my life. I am looking  forward to being the proud uncle, attending graduations and other celebrations. This Christmas has already begun receding into the past.

At our Christmas dinner I declined an invitation to say grace, because I am a secular person and have been so for many years. I find grace in every day life, not by thanking all powerful beings for our lives. This is the day, this is the one, wild and precious life we are given and I take time in word and deed to rejoice and be glad in it.

Have yourself an inclusive holiday

English: Testing out my new star filter on my ...

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English: Santa Claus with a little girl Espera...
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This is a holiday shared by many different traditions. Jews, Christians, pagans, capitalists, con men and war planners have all found December to be fruitful. I am a man for all seasons and I don’t mind sharing. I am celebrating the holidays with my family but we have not said grace. They respect my non-religious beliefs. If you are secure in what you believe you don’t have to push them on others like a brand of soap.

For me the winter solstice celebration speaks to my mind. Songs like Sleighride, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and Izat You Santa Claus feel more meaningful than Hark the Herald Angels Sing. I enjoy listening to Sammy Davis Jr. Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra as part of my holiday tradition.

But these end of the year celebrations are mostly about family. Today I will see my niece Grace for the first time. It will be only the second time that I have seen her mother. I am visiting my mother and sister for the first time in four years.  Even at 60 years old I got up at 3:30 not long after Santa’s helpers retired and looked at the Christmas tree I had helped to decorate.

When I shopped, I heard the voices of children asking for their parents. As I stopped at the Detroit Airport I spoke with the earnest young man from Delta Airlines who seemed determined to sell me some kind of preferred flyer membership tied to using American Express credit cards. I had lunch at a restaurant in  the airport and gave a generous tip to the waitress. At the stores I have contributed to the Salvation Army bell-ringers. And I have wished my Facebook friends a Merry Christmas.

The ways that we celebrate have changed and we create new traditions with each passing year. This is the first Christmas of marriage equality in my old hometown of Buffalo. And a gay time was had by all. So many seasons, so many reasons to celebrate in our hearts. Spread the love and put down the hate for we are all our parents’ children.

Bring Many Names

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King, Jr. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I just posted the hymn “Bring Many Names” to my Facebook page. It is one of the few songs about an invisible guiding spirit that I have not completely trashed in recent years. I learned “Bring Many Names” at the First Unitarian Society where it just seemed so appropriate. Imagine my surprise when I typed in bring many names hymn and found that it was included in other religious hymn books. In fact “Bring Many Names” caused quite a stir when it was included in a book of hymns for Episcopalians. The reason being that the image of God changes throughout the song. The second verse contains some very controversial lyrics.

Strong mother God, working night and day,
Planning all the wonders of creation,
Setting each equation, genius at play:
Hail and Hosanna, strong mother God!

Although I am an atheist I somehow identified this character as my mother. I thought of her as the woman who kept the roof over our head, working two shifts when necessary to keep us together and told us what she could about life. She was deeply flawed and very human. In a world of racism and not so benign neglect, that was a real challenge. How do we raise African-American children to be proud of themselves and their heritage to become productive citizens in spite of almost everything that the society tells them about  themselves?

The song presents the many stages of life: there was old aching god, young father god, and strong mother god so who could resist? It humanized the idea to make me think of myself when I was younger, now when my body hurt and the women in our family starting with my mother. Bring many names.

I sit here typing and nearly wanting to cry because “Bring Many Names” manifests in me the power of human resilience. We can live in these many different phases and still be planning for the next day. There is not, as far as I see, one spirit that empowers and challenges us to do our daily tasks but many wonderful and joyous and often harmonious. The conflict arises when people attempt to impose their way upon others and name their brothers’ beliefs. You, my brother, my sister, my neighbor, you, unknown person, I bring the name that you must believe. thus, controversies arise, people become frightened of the unknown and begin protesting about the presence of that unknown in their backyards.

They’re not ready to accept that there might be other names, other ways of conceiving this same concept. Since men created the idea of a supreme all-knowing being, what is there besides hubris that prevents the believers from understanding others might see that idea differently? Bring your inner joy, bring Jehovah, bring Darwin, bring Dr. King, bring Ra, bring many names. But impose not the name of your spirit upon another.